Happy Stories of my sadness …

……It was never about me,.. is about them…. but then ,,is just me and myself again..

There were times when I was constricted, and I felt guilty for being myself, having a good body, being feminine, graceful and sexy, enjoying music and dancing, speaking my mind and being independent… having breast implants , nice skin, smile…, and even stopped being proud for having long, abundant and fertile natural hair, no nails or false eyelashes glued with pretensions, is just that i carry with pride a beautiful genetic gift from my parents, including that natural coquetry & charisma of our Latin people,..

Few years ago.. well , …more than a decade already, I submitted to the wishes of other people and humiliated myself, I put myself under the rules of men, some misogyny without any respect for women and their value … but worse, women without love for themselves ,,, in which I trusted and stuck to their guidance and friendship , little i knew about the true meaning of this.. because i wasn’t always the lovely and tender woman i have become., I learned that women should empower and defend each other, to be sisters not enemies … but it is difficult to fight against the system and personal mindsets … and often women they have been more cruel than the men themselves..

After few years in this side of the world my self-esteem and security were extinguished … and I convinced myself that it was the right thing to feel, from the perspective of guilt, … it is no longer like that …but it has taken me a long process of Self Love forgiveness and acceptance.

Having different genetic and ancestral roots makes us rich and in fact is a blessing, it is a universal passport, …. what makes us miserable is: discrimination, and that includes me ( I do them , they do me)..I have also discriminated and judged, many times with strong reason and others by default ,,, but there are differences, and they are not only racial, but psychosocial that can’t be changed, evolutionary differences that only time and the improvement of the different species and terrestrial races could modify.

So …in order to learn, adapt, survive and be ‘normal’ I subjugated myself and adapt my ways to the requirements of the society in which I have lived since I traveled to Iran for the first time, then Egypt, then UAE, … what I did not imagine is that it was so hard to get in tune, as hard as trying to recover what I have left at the gates of this wonderful but multifaceted and moralized kingdom …. But what is fascinating is that I was able to mix, melt, heal, learn and enjoy what I have longed for since my childhood, traditions, cultures, loves and flavors of the Middle East … experiences that make up the ‘ Happy Stories of my sadness moments ‘…

By Luz B

«@medicineforthesoulweb

Anuncio publicitario

My Parallel Universe

As an artist and psychologist, my thoughts and opinions have been freer, more realistic … (well, that depends on the realities of each one) … but … let’s get to the point … long ago i noticed and felt that artists especially dancers were judged very harsh, disrespected, despised and sometimes abused throughout Latin America and the Middle East …, I could not say anything more since i have not visited other other places ..

Few years ago I wrote an article on my social site as well for a magazine, I was in my home country, and I only wrote a few times in a Facebook group that I had created..2009, .then i just forgot about it , …What I can confirm now is that the prejudice and mentality of our society has not changed much compared to what it was a decade ago, years after my first writings on the subject I continue to face in the Country in which I currently live and work, … and it has been extremely Difficult to face this nonsense repudiation, morbidly made up with indifference, that malice and prejudice that still in full 2020 continues to undervalue the role of Women in the world and in all areas of society I can no longer access my old blog and make the necessary edits or corrections to the articles but I copy and paste because it must be said and repeated: The Dancers are not Prostitutes

if they just knew how much wisdom we harbor,

The Dancers are not Prostitutes

Throughout our careers we have come across a number of questions about our profession, art or trade, some come across innuendoes and invitations after a show from some gentleman or even lady who yearns to fulfill fantasies … there are millions of stories that they have told me … and many more that I have lived … I am NOT going to deny or hide if there are … there are girls and women who are dedicated to sexual businesses beyond the Dance, and their income depends on sexual favors … but is minority … It is not only the Latin world that carries this fame in the world … there are women of all nationalities and all categories … But here .. Here we talk specifically about The Dancers, Belly dancers.. … I myself have been involved in gossip about my work, my dance and there is who question my Dignity … but with my head held high I have demonstrated it is not like that … on the other hand … We know for sure that every beautiful and attractive Woman with little or much success has to be branded as ill-gotten, living rowdy or Slut! Judging by appearances and based on your own shortcomings is the MISTAKE !!

Beauty accompanied by intelligence, power and abilities to work successfully exist! The Ideal Woman or at least the potentially ideal one exists!

Dancing to the rhythm of exciting melodies, having the cadence of the serpent, being as sinuous as sin itself is what sometimes makes us despicable in the eyes of others! Ayy..but if they knew !!!! ; if they just knew how much wisdom we harbor, how good, knowledgeable, researchers and scholars some of us are… administrators, businesswomen, professionals, splendid housewives, beautiful and good daughters, sisters, friends and companions !! LET’S NOT DENY that even we ourselves have judged others!! ,, Well, sometimes with reason, but other times NO !! I wrote down all of this for a debate that I found very interesting and that was exposed a long time ago in a Facebook group … and it is necessary to speak about it, it is a topic that has been and will be <the daily bread >.. . from the explicit comments in the social pages of artists and dancers all over the world from a passionate loyal fan to the harshest criticism of our own friends, sisters and colleagues .. And a girl once said … a well known girl … and famous precisely for The Dance and the fruits that it has given her ** That dance is for prostitutes !!.* ……… unfortunately is a concept from the imagination of some people … from their lack of information and ignorance. , ignorance of the arts and traditions …

What makes this so?

is the attitude of the dancers and the places where they do their dance, is the way they portray their art and their personal tendencies … it is very common that they tend to prostitution .. (Sometimes by necessity, ambition or desire). and therefore their fame is widespread with bad comments …. More important than anything … We must be and appear to be a wonderful dancer … .. and look at every moment like an immaculate artist! For many of our friends in the Middle East  we also figured as cheap women of easy access, but it is understandable when look back at their customs and traditions, their religion and look into their daily life. All Bellydancers knows that one way or another there is an stigma hanging over her forehead … from the odalisque to the main wife, from the Awalin to Ghawazi, from  the maid to Sheikha .. An stigma that embrace all of us, as Women we know that the world governed by men has limitations, rules and many egos fed by religion (manipulated), sexism, prejudice and unconsciousness.

The dreaded and unbearable people’s opinion!

  it cost me many tears and tantrums understand that if I am a person exposed to the public as well is my work ,in this case the dance, it means I’m subject to the public thinking and opinions about my self, they can think what they want! judge me as they please .. and even the very same women i work with !!.. Now a days, I do not consider it a problem .. at least not mine !!… but it is for sure an issue to expose and reveal!

I admit: It’s very sad to know the kind of thoughts or opinions people have about us… but … The dancer is and will remain the subject of the lowest or the most wonderful fantasies …. bad or good, Prostitute or holy. .. Woman from home or the street …in the end is a sacred Woman! And with a much more developed feminine power that the common ones, with the ability to transmute those energies from those who observe not only the dance but the daily life of all the dancers … It is a subject of a thousand controversies … and is like the one who criticizes and judge homosexuality in others … there is something inside them, inner conflicts with the free expression of another, whether is sexual preferences or Art that inspires them… We need to understand and should never, never forget that not everything that is sensual  have to be of whores !!… not everything in eroticism is involving baseness, and not every expression of seduction is a winding invitation for sex!

With Love and respect

Luz Betty

ILLUMINATE EVERYTHING THAT IN THE SHADOW APPEARS TO BE !! 27 july 2012

El trueno, mente perfecta.

🇪🇸 🇺🇸

Yo soy la que he sido enviada desde el poder y he venido hacia los que piensan en mí y he sido encontrada en los que me buscan.

Miradme los que pensáis en mí y escuchadme, oyentes. Los que me estáis esperando, acogedme junto a vosotros; y no me apartéis de vuestra vista; y que no me odie ni vuestra voz ni vuestro oído; y no me ignoréis en lugar o en tiempo alguno.

¡Alerta! No me ignoréis. Pues yo soy la primera y la última, la honorable y la despreciable, la prostituta y la respetable, la esposa y la virgen, la madre y la hija, los miembros de mi madre, la estéril y la que tiene muchos hijos. Yo soy la que tiene un matrimonio importante y no tomé marido, la comadrona y la que no da a luz, el consuelo de mis sufrimientos, la novia y el novio; y mi marido fue quien me engendró. Yo soy la madre de mi padre y la hermana de mi marido; y él es mi vástago. Yo soy la esclava del que me preparó y la dominadora de mi vástago; pero él es quien me engendró antes del tiempo en un natalicio, siendo él mi vástago en el tiempo; y mi potencia procede de él. Yo soy el cayado de su poder en su juventud y él es la vara de mi vejez; y lo que quiere él es lo que me sucede. Yo soy el silencio incomprensible, la idea cuyo recuerdo es frecuente, la voz cuyo sonido es variado y la palabra cuya apariencia es múltiple; yo soy la pronunciación de mi nombre.

¿Por qué me amáis los que me odiáis y me odiáis los que me amáis? Los que me negáis, confesadme; y los que me confesáis, negadme. Los que decís la verdad sobre mí, mentid sobre mí; y los que habéis mentido sobre mí, decid la verdad sobre mí. Los que me conocéis, ignoradme; y los que no me habéis conocido, conocedme. Pues yo soy el conocimiento y la ignorancia, la vergüenza y la osadía; soy una desvergonzada y estoy avergonzada, soy poderosa y estoy atemorizada, soy la guerra y la paz.

Prestadme atención: yo soy la que ha caído en desgracia y la más grande. Prestad atención a mi pobreza y a mi riqueza.

No seáis arrogantes conmigo cuando sea arrojada sobre la tierra: me encontraréis en los que vendrán. Mas no me miréis en el estiércol, y no vayáis y me dejéis abandonada: me encontraréis en los reinos. Mas no me miréis abandonada sobre los que han caído en desgracia; y hasta en los lugares más pequeños no os riáis de mí. Mas no me arrojéis sobre los que son matados violentamente. Pero yo, yo soy compasiva y cruel.

¡Alerta! No odiéis mi obediencia; y mi continencia no la améis. No me abandonéis en mi debilidad; y no tengáis miedo de mi poder.

¿Por qué, pues, desdeñáis mi miedo y maldecís mi orgullo? Pero yo soy la que existe en todos los miedos; soy la fuerza de un temblor; soy débil y me encuentro a gusto en lugar placentero; soy insensata y prudente.

¿Por qué me habéis odiado en vuestros consejos?; porque yo estaré silenciosa entre los silenciosos, apareceré y hablaré.

¿Por qué, entonces, me habéis odiado vosotros, griegos?; porque soy una bárbara entre los bárbaros. En efecto, yo soy la sabiduría de los griegos y el conocimiento de los bárbaros. Yo soy el juicio de los griegos y de los bárbaros. Yo soy aquel cuya imagen es importante en Egipto, y la que no tiene imagen entre los bárbaros. Yo soy la que ha sido odiada y amada en todas partes. Soy aquella a la que llaman Vida y llamasteis Muerte, a la que llaman Ley y llamasteis falta de Ley, a la que habéis perseguido y habéis capturado, a la que habéis dispersado y habéis reunido. Yo soy aquella ante la que os habéis avergonzado y no habéis tenido vergüenza de mí. Yo soy la que no celebra, pero cuyas celebraciones son importantes. Yo, yo no creo en Dios, pero soy aquella cuyo Dios es relevante. Yo soy aquella en la que pensasteis y despreciasteis. Soy ignorante, pero aprenden de mí. Soy aquella a la que despreciasteis, pero pensáis en mí; a la que escondisteis, pero aparecéis para mí.

Pero cuando os ocultéis, yo misma apareceré; pues cuando aparezcáis, yo me ocultaré de vosotros.[…]. Y llevadme hacia vosotros desde la comprensión y el dolor. Y llevadme hacia vosotros desde lugares sórdidos y ruinosos. Y robad a los buenos incluso en la adversidad. Desde la vergüenza, llevadme hacia vosotros desvergonzadamente; y desde la desvergüenza y la vergüenza, reprended a mis miembros en vosotros. Y venid hacia mí los que me conocéis y los que conocéis mis miembros. Y colocad a los grandes entre las primeras criaturas pequeñas. Venid hacia la niñez y no la odiéis por ser insignificante y pequeña. Y no rechacéis grandeza en parte alguna desde la pequeñez, pues la pequeñez es conocida a partir de la grandeza.

¿Por qué me maldecís y me honráis? Vosotros habéis hecho daño y habéis tenido compasión. No me separéis de entre los primeros que conocisteis; ni expulséis ni rechacéis a nadie […]. Yo conozco a los primeros y los que están tras éstos me conocen. Pero yo soy el intelecto […] y el reposo de […. Yo soy el conocimiento de mi pregunta, y el encuentro de los que me buscan y el precepto de los que piden por mí. Yo soy el poder de los poderes en mi conocimiento de los ángeles, que fueron enviados por mi palabra, de dioses que están en sus tiempos en mi consejo, de espíritus de cada hombre que existen conmigo y de mujeres que viven dentro de mí.

Yo soy la honrada, la bendita y la despreciada con desdén. Yo soy la paz y por mí vino la guerra; y soy extranjera y ciudadana. Yo soy la esencia y la que no tiene esencia. Los que están fuera de mi relación me ignoran, mientras que los que están en mi esencia me conocen. Los que están cerca de mí me han ignorado, mientras que los que están lejos de mí son los que me han conocido. Durante el día, cuando estoy cerca de vosotros, estáis lejos de mí; y durante el día, cuando estoy lejos de vosotros, estoy cerca de vosotros.

[…] Yo soy la que retiene y la que no retiene, la unión y la desunión, lo permanente y la desunión. Yo estoy debajo y ellos se acercan a mí. Yo soy el juicio y la exculpación. Yo, yo estoy libre de pecado y la raíz del pecado procede de mí. Yo soy aparentemente el deseo y el autodominio existe dentro de mí. Yo soy el oído que todos perciben y el habla que no puede ser comprendida. Yo soy una muda que no habla y sobreabunda en palabras. Escuchadme con tolerancia y aprended de mí sin instrucción. Yo soy la que grita y es expulsada sobre la faz de la tierra. Yo preparo el pan y mi intelecto en el interior. Yo soy el conocimiento de mi nombre. Yo soy la que grita y escucha. […] Yo soy aquella a la que llaman Verdad e injusticia […] Me honráis […] y murmuráis contra mí. Los que sois vencidos, juzgadlos (a los que os vencen) antes de que os juzguen, pues el juez y el favoritismo están en vosotros.

Si sois condenados por ése, ¿quién os absolverá? O si sois absueltos por él, ¿quién podrá deteneros? En efecto, lo que está dentro de vosotros es lo que está fuera de vosotros; y lo que os plasma por fuera es lo que os configuró por dentro; y lo que veis fuera de vosotros lo veis dentro de vosotros. Se manifiesta y es vuestra prenda.

Escuchadme, oyentes, y aprended de mis palabras los que me conocéis. Yo soy el oído percibido por todas las cosas y el habla que no puede ser comprendida. Yo soy el nombre del sonido y el sonido del nombre. Yo soy la señal de la carta y la manifestación de la división.[…] Entonces yo pronunciaré el nombre del que me creó. Mirad, pues, sus palabras y todas las escrituras que fueron completadas. Por tanto, prestad atención, oyentes, así como vosotros también, ángeles, y los que han sido enviados, y los espíritus que se levantaron de entre los muertos. Pues yo soy la que únicamente existe y no tengo quien me juzgue. En efecto, son muchas las formas agradables que existen en los múltiples pecados y desenfrenos y pasiones vergonzosas y placeres efímeros que los retienen hasta que llegan a ser sobrios y se apresuran hacia sus lugares de descanso. Y me encontrarán en ese lugar, vivirán y no morirán de nuevo.

Anónimo
Extraido de “Textos gnósticos : biblioteca de Nag Hammadi”, de Antonio Piñero.

---

THE GNOSTIC SOCIETY LIBRARY The Nag Hammadi Library

The Thunder, Perfect Mind

Translated by George W. MacRae

I was sent forth from the power, and I have come to those who reflect upon me,and I have been found among those who seek after me.Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,and you hearers, hear me.You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.And do not banish me from your sight.And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!Do not be ignorant of me.For I am the first and the last.I am the honored one and the scorned one.I am the whore and the holy one.I am the wife and the virgin.I am <the mother> and the daughter.I am the members of my mother.I am the barren oneand many are her sons.I am she whose wedding is great,and I have not taken a husband.I am the midwife and she who does not bear.I am the solace of my labor pains.I am the bride and the bridegroom,and it is my husband who begot me.I am the mother of my fatherand the sister of my husbandand he is my offspring.I am the slave of him who prepared me.I am the ruler of my offspring.But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.And he is my offspring in (due) time,and my power is from him.I am the staff of his power in his youth,and he is the rod of my old age.And whatever he wills happens to me.I am the silence that is incomprehensibleand the idea whose remembrance is frequent.I am the voice whose sound is manifoldand the word whose appearance is multiple.I am the utterance of my name.Why, you who hate me, do you love me,and hate those who love me?You who deny me, confess me,and you who confess me, deny me.You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.You who know me, be ignorant of me,and those who have not known me, let them know me.For I am knowledge and ignorance.I am shame and boldness.I am shameless; I am ashamed.I am strength and I am fear.I am war and peace.Give heed to me.I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,and you will find me in those that are to come.And do not look upon me on the dung-heapnor go and leave me cast out,and you will find me in the kingdoms.And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those whoare disgraced and in the least places,nor laugh at me.And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.Be on your guard!Do not hate my obedienceand do not love my self-control.In my weakness, do not forsake me,and do not be afraid of my power.For why do you despise my fearand curse my pride?But I am she who exists in all fearsand strength in trembling.I am she who is weak,and I am well in a pleasant place.I am senseless and I am wise.Why have you hated me in your counsels?For I shall be silent among those who are silent,and I shall appear and speak,Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?For I am the wisdom of the Greeksand the knowledge of the barbarians.I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.I am the one whose image is great in Egyptand the one who has no image among the barbarians.I am the one who has been hated everywhereand who has been loved everywhere.I am the one whom they call Life,and you have called Death.I am the one whom they call Law,and you have called Lawlessness.I am the one whom you have pursued,and I am the one whom you have seized.I am the one whom you have scattered,and you have gathered me together.I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,and you have been shameless to me.I am she who does not keep festival,and I am she whose festivals are many.I, I am godless,and I am the one whose God is great.I am the one whom you have reflected upon,and you have scorned me.I am unlearned,and they learn from me.I am the one that you have despised,and you reflect upon me.I am the one whom you have hidden from,and you appear to me.But whenever you hide yourselves,I myself will appear.For whenever you appear,I myself will hide from you.Those who have […] to it […] senselessly […].Take me [… understanding] from grief.and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;and out of shamelessness and shame,upbraid my members in yourselves.And come forward to me, you who know meand you who know my members,and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.Come forward to childhood,and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.Why do you curse me and honor me?You have wounded and you have had mercy.Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away[…] turn you away and [… know] him not.[…].What is mine […].I know the first ones and those after them know me.But I am the mind of […] and the rest of […].I am the knowledge of my inquiry,and the finding of those who seek after me,and the command of those who ask of me,and the power of the powers in my knowledgeof the angels, who have been sent at my word,and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,and of spirits of every man who exists with me,and of women who dwell within me.I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,and who is despised scornfully.I am peace,and war has come because of me.And I am an alien and a citizen.I am the substance and the one who has no substance.Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.[I am …] within.[I am …] of the natures.I am […] of the creation of the spirits.[…] request of the souls.I am control and the uncontrollable.I am the union and the dissolution.I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.I am the one below,and they come up to me.I am the judgment and the acquittal.I, I am sinless,and the root of sin derives from me.I am lust in (outward) appearance,and interior self-control exists within me.I am the hearing which is attainable to everyoneand the speech which cannot be grasped.I am a mute who does not speak,and great is my multitude of words.Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.I am she who cries out,and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.I prepare the bread and my mind within.I am the knowledge of my name.I am the one who cries out,and I listen.I appear and […] walk in […] seal of my […].I am […] the defense […].I am the one who is called Truthand iniquity […].You honor me […] and you whisper against me.You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)before they give judgment against you,because the judge and partiality exist in you.If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,and the one who fashions you on the outsideis the one who shaped the inside of you.And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;it is visible and it is your garment.Hear me, you hearersand learn of my words, you who know me.I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;I am the speech that cannot be grasped.I am the name of the soundand the sound of the name.I am the sign of the letterand the designation of the division.And I […].(3 lines missing)[…] light […].[…] hearers […] to you[…] the great power.And […] will not move the name.[…] to the one who created me.And I will speak his name.Look then at his wordsand all the writings which have been completed.Give heed then, you hearersand you also, the angels and those who have been sent,and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.For I am the one who alone exists,and I have no one who will judge me.For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,and incontinencies,and disgraceful passions,and fleeting pleasures,which (men) embrace until they become soberand go up to their resting place.And they will find me there,and they will live,and they will not die again.