……It was never about me,.. is about them…. but then ,,is just me and myself again..
There were times when I was constricted, and I felt guilty for being myself, having a good body, being feminine, graceful and sexy, enjoying music and dancing, speaking my mind and being independent… having breast implants , nice skin, smile…, and even stopped being proud for having long, abundant and fertile natural hair, no nails or false eyelashes glued with pretensions, is just that i carry with pride a beautiful genetic gift from my parents, including that natural coquetry & charisma of our Latin people,..
Few years ago.. well , …more than a decade already, I submitted to the wishes of other people and humiliated myself, I put myself under the rules of men, some misogyny without any respect for women and their value … but worse, women without love for themselves ,,, in which I trusted and stuck to their guidance and friendship , little i knew about the true meaning of this.. because i wasn’t always the lovely and tender woman i have become., I learned that women should empower and defend each other, to be sisters not enemies … but it is difficult to fight against the system and personal mindsets … and often women they have been more cruel than the men themselves..
After few years in this side of the world my self-esteem and security were extinguished … and I convinced myself that it was the right thing to feel, from the perspective of guilt, … it is no longer like that …but it has taken me a long process of Self Love forgiveness and acceptance.
Having different genetic and ancestral roots makes us rich and in fact is a blessing, it is a universal passport, …. what makes us miserable is: discrimination, and that includes me ( I do them , they do me)..I have also discriminated and judged, many times with strong reason and others by default ,,, but there are differences, and they are not only racial, but psychosocial that can’t be changed, evolutionary differences that only time and the improvement of the different species and terrestrial races could modify.
So …in order to learn, adapt, survive and be ‘normal’ I subjugated myself and adapt my ways to the requirements of the society in which I have lived since I traveled to Iran for the first time, then Egypt, then UAE, … what I did not imagine is that it was so hard to get in tune, as hard as trying to recover what I have left at the gates of this wonderful but multifaceted and moralized kingdom …. But what is fascinating is that I was able to mix, melt, heal, learn and enjoy what I have longed for since my childhood, traditions, cultures, loves and flavors of the Middle East … experiences that make up the ‘ Happy Stories of my sadness moments ‘…
As an artist and psychologist, my thoughts and opinions have been freer, more realistic … (well, that depends on the realities of each one) … but … let’s get to the point … long ago i noticed and felt that artists especially dancers were judged very harsh, disrespected, despised and sometimes abused throughout Latin America and the Middle East …, I could not say anything more since i have not visited other other places ..
Few years ago I wrote an article on my social site as well for a magazine, I was in my home country, and I only wrote a few times in a Facebook group that I had created..2009, .then i just forgot about it , …What I can confirm now is that the prejudice and mentality of our society has not changed much compared to what it was a decade ago, years after my first writings on the subject I continue to face in the Country in which I currently live and work, … and it has been extremely Difficult to face this nonsense repudiation, morbidly made up with indifference, that malice and prejudice that still in full 2020 continues to undervalue the role of Women in the world and in all areas of society I can no longer access my old blog and make the necessary edits or corrections to the articles but I copy and paste because it must be said and repeated: The Dancers are not Prostitutes
The Dancers are not Prostitutes
Throughout our careers we have come across a number of questions about our profession, art or trade, some come across innuendoes and invitations after a show from some gentleman or even lady who yearns to fulfill fantasies … there are millions of stories that they have told me … and many more that I have lived … I am NOT going to deny or hide if there are … there are girls and women who are dedicated to sexual businesses beyond the Dance, and their income depends on sexual favors … but is minority … It is not only the Latin world that carries this fame in the world … there are women of all nationalities and all categories … But here .. Here we talk specifically about The Dancers, Belly dancers.. … I myself have been involved in gossip about my work, my dance and there is who question my Dignity … but with my head held high I have demonstrated it is not like that … on the other hand … We know for sure that every beautiful and attractive Woman with little or much success has to be branded as ill-gotten, living rowdy or Slut! Judging by appearances and based on your own shortcomings is the MISTAKE !!
Beauty accompanied by intelligence, power and abilities to work successfully exist! The Ideal Woman or at least the potentially ideal one exists!
Dancing to the rhythm of exciting melodies, having the cadence of the serpent, being as sinuous as sin itself is what sometimes makes us despicable in the eyes of others! Ayy..but if they knew !!!! ; if they just knew how much wisdom we harbor, how good, knowledgeable, researchers and scholars some of us are… administrators, businesswomen, professionals, splendid housewives, beautiful and good daughters, sisters, friends and companions !! LET’S NOT DENY that even we ourselves have judged others!! ,, Well, sometimes with reason, but other times NO !! I wrote down all of this for a debate that I found very interesting and that was exposed a long time ago in a Facebook group … and it is necessary to speak about it, it is a topic that has been and will be <the daily bread >.. . from the explicit comments in the social pages of artists and dancers all over the world from a passionate loyal fan to the harshest criticism of our own friends, sisters and colleagues .. And a girl once said … a well known girl … and famous precisely for The Dance and the fruits that it has given her ** That dance is for prostitutes !!.* ……… unfortunately is a concept from the imagination of some people … from their lack of information and ignorance. , ignorance of the arts and traditions …
What makes this so?
is the attitude of the dancers and the places where they do their dance, is the way they portray their art and their personal tendencies … it is very common that they tend to prostitution .. (Sometimes by necessity, ambition or desire). and therefore their fame is widespread with bad comments …. More important than anything … We must be and appear to be a wonderful dancer … .. and look at every moment like an immaculate artist! For many of our friends in the Middle East we also figured as cheap women of easy access, but it is understandable when look back at their customs and traditions, their religion and look into their daily life. All Bellydancers knows that one way or another there is an stigma hanging over her forehead … from the odalisque to the main wife, from the Awalin to Ghawazi, from the maid to Sheikha .. An stigma that embrace all of us, as Women we know that the world governed by men has limitations, rules and many egos fed by religion (manipulated), sexism, prejudice and unconsciousness.
The dreaded and unbearable people’s opinion!
it cost me many tears and tantrums understand that if I am a person exposed to the public as well is my work ,in this case the dance, it means I’m subject to the public thinking and opinions about my self, they can think what they want! judge me as they please .. and even the very same women i work with !!.. Now a days, I do not consider it a problem .. at least not mine !!… but it is for sure an issue to expose and reveal!
I admit: It’s very sad to know the kind of thoughts or opinions people have about us… but … The dancer is and will remain the subject of the lowest or the most wonderful fantasies …. bad or good, Prostitute or holy. .. Woman from home or the street …in the end is a sacred Woman! And with a much more developed feminine power that the common ones, with the ability to transmute those energies from those who observe not only the dance but the daily life of all the dancers … It is a subject of a thousand controversies … and is like the one who criticizes and judge homosexuality in others … there is something inside them, inner conflicts with the free expression of another, whether is sexual preferences or Art that inspires them… We need to understand and should never, never forget that not everything that is sensual have to be of whores !!… not everything in eroticism is involving baseness, and not every expression of seduction is a winding invitation for sex!
In a world of cultural and religious plurality, staying upright and dressed in tolerance is a constant challenge, … one day …my day-to-day stories will serve other beings and other women to discover the other worlds that exist beyond this one…
My commitment is to the Almighty, ..
My choices are not linked to systems or social assumptions,
My Faith is not disturbed by looks or how others see me,
My faith does not falter by acquiring new information or traveling the world,
I feed my mind with knowledge from past, present and future,
My believe system is based on living with love and respect for others,
My prayers are not only words but fair and good actions towards all living creatures….and that …